We usually blame our partner for our failed relationships, which may not be always true. Analyzing "self" in a troubled relationship is a great thing to be done that would be a step towards actually repairing the relationship. We should keep in mind that blaming others, instead of owing responsibility, doesn’t help in fixing a relationship.
In a strained relationship, both the persons involved believe that they are right. By doing so, the relationship is further deteriorated and a feeling of animosity develops. It is a sensitive situation that needs to be handled carefully.
When you are in such a situation, relax and ponder for a while. Or, stop thinking of your relationship and just count to ten in order to focus off for a minute. This will cool down your brain and you will realize that just by asserting yourself to be right doesn’t help improve the situation. Mutual understanding is always helpful. If we begin to think from the perspective of our partners, we can easily avoid any troublesome situation.
Most women have great memories. They retain past memories, bitter or sweet, in their mind for a long time. So, by bringing up old issues, you complicate the situation instead of solving the present condition. While referring to something past, begin with, "it may or may not be relevant but let me say this aloud..." This will show that you are really serious and contemplating the situation for some time. Then you can bluntly say that it's irrelevant and needs no discussion.
It is a well-established fact that speaking in a loud voice doesn’t prove one as always right. By doing so, you fail to relate with your partner and your partner may just refuse to listen to you, dismissing your outburst as too emotional.
There are several ways to reduce your volume. Often, partners signal at each other when such a situation arises. When you feel that it has increased beyond normal, follow the simple steps mentioned here. The best way is to take a few deep breaths. Also, you can move out of the room for a moment and then lower your voice after you return back.
Usually when you’re upset or hurt, you tend to blame your partner for things going awry. This doesn’t help you in anyway. By blaming your partner, you disassociate yourself from the real issue.
It is advisable to analyze the issue cool headedly, without thinking of the presence of your partner. This certainly will help you in finding a suitable solution.
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