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Protecting Children from the Negative Impact of Divorce

The emotions experienced are so anguishing that quite a few children a physically affected by the divorce. Children feel traumatised as they find it well neigh impossible to cope with the manifold aspects wrought in by divorce. The grief of not having enough time to spend with one parent is accentuated by a change in residence, school and (quite frequently) a drop in standard of living.

Divorce is an unfortunate occurrence. Whether children wallow in the grief for long and suffer its negative impacts or rebound into positive personalities is determined by the attitude parents adopt.

Negative Emotional Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce leads to deep grief that ultimately culminates into depression and anxiety.

Grief gets compounded when it remains bottled in and is left unexpressed. Children lack the proficient communication skills of adults. Parents should help the children give vent to their feelings of pain and sorrow. This would mitigate the negativity associated with such feelings.

Divorce makes some children fearful and they tend to withdraw.

Children feel a sense of helplessness at the occurrence. They feel powerless too as they are neither able to process their thoughts or express their feelings. Only the parents can help the children at such times. To eliminate the sense of helplessness, parents should allow children to play a role in the decision making process whenever possible.

Long suffering children of divorce are more prone to substance abuse and suicide. These terrifyingly negative consequences can be eradicated if well balanced parents support their children through this gruelling process and make them feel secure.

Physical Effects of Divorce on Children

Restless sleep and chronic pain is a physical reaction induced by the negative emotions that surface during divorce.

Parents should first seek professional help to manage their emotions. Well balanced parents can help their children. Both the divorced spouses should refrain from conflicting in front of the children. And, one parent should not speak ill of the absentee parent.

Children often feel that they are responsible for the divorce of their parents. Their unspoken guilt might stem from the fact that they would have heard their parents arguing about them.
Children of all ages suffer the divorce of their parents. These consequences manifest at some point of time. Children need reassurance that they are not responsible for the divorce in any manner.

Reassurance to Children

The ruffled feelings of children can be assuaged by establishing a routine life. Any promise or commitment made to the children should not be broken.
Children fear abandonment the most. Parents must spend as much time as possible with their children. This erases the fear from their mind.
Children already suffer from much pain. Parents must never try to seek emotional support from children. Neither should parents try to garner information about the other spouse from the children.

Parents should be in regular contact with each other and make effort at mending broken relationship. Many parents fail to appreciate the necessity of mending relationship after the termination of marriage.

Maintenance of civil relationship is a must even after divorce. It is difficult to not experience resentment and anger that simmers for long. But, parents should dispel such feelings for the sake of the children. Decisions pertaining to children have to be jointly taken. Parenting is a joint responsibility.

Improving relationship is difficult but can be made possible by indulging in joint family activities. Enjoying an evening out in the beach or going to the movies helps the non custodial parent to develop respect for the spouse and track child welfare.

An activity like playing with the children or going out helps either spouse to develop respect for each other. This also helps the creation of a special bond with the children. By making the effort to be civil with each other parents are reducing the negative impact of divorce on their children. Developing a civil relationship with the ex spouse is difficult and requires a lot of hard work. But, the effort is worth the pain for it helps children develop into positive personalities despite divorce of their parents.










Article Source :http://infopool.webverve.com/

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

Author Profile : jameswalsh


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